Care and Feeding of an Electrical Engineer

(April 13, 2004)

So it'll be a busy week. Hub is almost totally moved out of our old apartment. What he didn't sell at the tag sale, trash or pack to move, he's putting into the basement here in Dan and Tanya's house for a little while. So once that's done, that'll be it. He'll be living in Canada. Isn't that weird? We lived ten minutes away during high school, were apart in college, but after college...well hell, for ten years we lived together, and for the last year and a half we were ten minutes apart again.

No more Hub.

So Kelly, like I mentioned to you this weekend? Even though he's spent long three week trips at your place in Canada, there are things that you might not yet know...so here ya go, girl!

1. Don't go looking for a discarded pumpkin carcass under the stairs, that's just Hub's feet, and it only gets that eye-wateringly bad when he wears the Thorlo socks all day.

2. While we're on the subject of smells, when he gets back down off the hiking trail after a weekend, that odor will MOSTLY come off after a shower. His hair will retain the campfire smokey smell for a few days, though.

3. When you put a bagel into the toaster and you return a few minutes later to find it quite un-toasted and un-popped, that's because the toaster is unplugged. He unplugs stuff. We don't know why.

4. One-syllable words with two adjacent consonants will earn new life as two-or-more-syllable words. To wit, milk becomes mik-ell and knife becomes ka-niffy, and only occassionally when he strings a bunch of them together will you have no fucking idea what he's talkin' about, willis.

5. He yells alarmingly loud at bad drivers. This is the only time he raises his voice. During this time he usually also invents new insults. Ten minutes ago "butt nugget" was born. It is impossible not to laugh.

6. He can make you feel beautiful seemingly effortlessly

7. If you poison the air with a really good fart, he'll pull his T shirt up over his nose like that guy in Bazooka Joe and it is hilarious. Then he'll try to work up an even better fart so he can "win..."

8. ...he always wins. He once farted a coat off the hook. Never give him turkey and asparagus on the same day.

9. On that ice cream pint it says "Serving size, half cup. Servings per container, 4." That is considered an insult. The serving is done when the spoon hits the cardboard bottom of the container.

10. As an engineer, Hub sees the world in a unique way. On a bright sunny day, you'd walk outside and go, "Great day for swimming!" Hub would say, "Great day for solar power!" But at least he understands when you glaze over ten minutes into an explanation on the scientific advancement made since the discovery of Neutrinos. That sounds like a box of cookies but it's not. It's...something...about something, you can ask him.

That's all I can think of for now. You have my number if you have any questions! There is no warranty, so Buyer Beware!