Why do you rock?

(December 12, 2003)

So the other day I was looking for some kind of online test that tells you whether (or not) what you're having is actually a relationship (or not) or if it's just a joke (or not). I figured that such a test would have questions like:

You see each other:
a) Every day
b) Every few days
c) Once a week
d) Every now and then

You are able to have a lively and interesting conversation about:
a) Anything
b) One or two specific things
c) It's hard to find something to talk about

Your intimacy level means you have sex:
a) At least once every day
b) A few times a week
c) Sometimes
d) Depends on what you call "sex"

If something good or bad happens to you during the day, you call and tell this person:
a) First
b) Somewhere in the top three
c) Next time you happen to see them
d) Not at all

This would be for entertainment purposes only, of course. I mean, most of us can tell a relationship from a gym sock. Some people can't, I've found.

I did find a "Personality Disorder" test. My results:

Disorder	Rating
Paranoid:	Low
Schizoid:	Low
Schizotypal:	Low
Antisocial:	Low
Borderline:	Low
Histrionic:	Low
Narcissistic:	Moderate
Avoidant:	Low
Dependent:	Low
Obsessive-Compulsive:	Low
-- Personality Disorder Test - Take It! --

"Moderate" for Narcissistic? The key says "Moderate" means "unlikely," but what part of my answer prevented it from being "Low"? Dude, I never would have thought myself even the least bit Narcissistic! The DSM defines Narcissisitic Personality Disorder as "an all-pervasive pattern of grandiosity (in fantasy or behavior), need for admiration or adulation and lack of empathy, usually beginning by early adulthood and present in various contexts."

This is where Psychology can get hinky: Does doing a good job and being told so, i.e. being happy with your own results and having others be happy about your work or performance, indicate a Personality disorder? Need for admiration? What about, in the parlance of our times, the "gold star"? The gold star for a job well done has been dangled at us since kindergarten. What is the positive performance review and raise but a gold star? Who among us goes, "Whatever," when someone says "You rock!"

We rock because we care, no?