How To Lose Me via IM

(December 05, 2003)

Lexikahn: Did you know that in Delaware it's a crime to pawn your wooden leg

onlyone: of course -- as it should be everywhere.

onlyone: punishable by amputation of the missing limb.

Lexikahn: And in Alabama, it's illegal to wear a fake moustache that causes laughter in church.

onlyone: but it's perfectly legal if it's a serious looking mustache?

onlyone: who decides if it's a laughter-inducing moustache?

onlyone: is it if anyone at all laughs?

onlyone: what if the kid with tourette's just laughs 'cause that's what he does?

onlyone: these laws are highly questionable.

onlyone: did you know that, under mass. state law, if you inadvertantly fart in a child's face, you have to issue a written apology to the parents (or caretakers) within a fortnight or pay a fine?

onlyone: on the books since the early 1800s.

onlyone: i don't know what the ramifications of intentional gas expulsion in a child's face would be. perhaps that's okay.

(pause)

onlyone: you're not there.