Pardon Our Appearance While We ReModel

(September 23, 2002)

"I didn't realize this was going to cause a wardrobe crisis for you," snorted Hub as I pulled yet another of my dresses over my head that, six months ago when I started this diet & excercise thing, had hugged my ample Italian curves but now...sorta floated. "I know in my head that I'm down two sizes, but I don't even FEEL like I lost THIS MUCH weight," I said, clutching five inches of loose silky fabric folds where there used to be five additional inches of me. "I mean, anyone can see that I'm nowhere near done, but...still, look at this," I'd tossed aside the too-big dress and pulled on my shiny purple paisley slacks...without even unfastening the button. I held them outwards from my hips and it was like those rubber waterproof overalls that fly-fishers wear. Hub laughed.

"I'm gonna accidentally pants myself in public if I try to wear these," I muttered, turning around in the mirror. There was enough extra fabric in the ass and thighs to make a matching top.

Great. I mean, of course, this is all good. I'm doing a great job, and by the end of year I'll fit back into those tiny little skirts and jeans I've been saving in the bottom of my closet. (Well, I'm doing this slowly, because I hate excercise, so maybe by next spring.)

But between now and then...what am I gonna wear...? I loved those purple pants, yo. And my dresses, waaah!

Well. So, okay...peeps, if you see me out in the near future and my clothes basically fit, it's a new item and you can say "I like your new dress!" However, if I look like I'd arrived at somebody's house and spilled something on my shirt and then they gave me their Aunt Bessie's extra-extra large shirt to wear, don't say anything, please. I'm aware that it looks ridiculous, I'm just holding off until December or January to get some new things that fit.