onlyone way to go

(September 12, 2002)

"I do not think I'm a gift from the gods," says Joe. "And some of the other euphemisms for 'horny' were quite good, too."

"Which ones were good?" I wanted to know. "I didn't like 'looking for a bed to break.' And you do too think you're a gift from the gods, but I mean it lovingly."

"What about 'looking for some hay to roll in.' Or the altered version. 'I got the roll; need the hay.'"

Oh yeah, he's right. I did like that one. Also, 'need some coffee' was kind of funny, and I forgot that I did come up with 'duck bartering.' But the duck one is spun off a joke, and if you haven't heard the joke, the spin-off won't make any sense. But "got the roll, need the hay," that's a pretty good one.

"See? You make me sound like some kind of self-centered imbecile who only comes up with one good thing for every fifty bad things. I'm not an imbecile. I'm not self-centered, and I'm better than you imply that I am. Just ask me."

Oh good lord. Joe Kowalski, ladies and gentlemen. "Thank you! I'm here 'til Thursday! Try the veal!"

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Jess has an excellent point about "randy" as a replacement for "horny." Though I did use this word at one time, Austin has rendered it uproariously comical. Cartoon sexy, like the fembot Bugs Bunny used to follow around.

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Recently, I'm pretty sure at the Middle East last Saturday, I advised T Max, in all seriousness, "Can you TRY not to look at her like she's lunch?" So now, upon this whole Other Words For Horny mission, we've got "hungry for lunch." Again, that might be a bit too esoteric...

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This is the earliest in the day I've ever slammed out an entry. I haven't even gone to work yet.

God I need some serious coffee.