Ode to Star Market

(September 12, 2002)

(...or, How I Didn't Get Sushi Last Night And Made This Up In The Car On The Way Home.)

Star sells sushi a la carte, that's why I deign to go there
Otherwise I stay away from Supermarket Nightmare
This evening as I ventured home from GiantSuckingSound.com
A big enormous yen for sushi hit me like a bomb

"Do I dare?" I asked myself, approaching Porter Square
This time of night, without a doubt, a monster lurks in there:
Entangled, ugly, slow and crass, a teeming steel and rubber clot--
Evil, stupid...what, you ask? The friggin' Porter parking lot!

Thoughts of maki and wasabi dancing keenly in my head,
I steeled my nerve and gripped the wheel and gunned it straight ahead
"I'm going to park this car," I said, with all the grit that I could muster
(Note to self: Never heed your inner Colonel Custer)

First, Buzz Cut Frat Boy cut me off with his stupid Pontiac
Then Grandpa almost rammed me with his ancient mammoth Cadillac
I should have bailed, I knew the score, but damn! I wanted sticky rice!
If not for that I'd not have risked my sanity to sacrifice

I chanced another round in hopes a space would open up
Soccer Mom in Minivan flipped off Dodge Ram Pick-Up Truck
Girl in Audi looked autistic, Guy in Beemer idled
The little voice inside my head said "You're getting homicidal--"
Abort! Abandon Porter Square, forget about the snapper!"
Dork in Camry! Taurus Loser! Subaru Brake-Tapper!

I finally made it past them all, to contemplate my foolishness:
How much did I need that fish, and how much did I need that stress?