We Need a Bigger Boat

(January 14, 2002)

"HUB, it's wall to wall cats in here! All I wanna do is pee and brush my teeth!"

This apartment is great (and why not for $1300 a month) but the bathroom is terrible. Not just for it's tiny size. It's also in a weird place in the apartment, and its elements are arranged weirdly. And there are always cats in it.

When you come over and I let you in, the bathroom is the first thing you see. You walk in the front door into a long hallway, and the bathroom is at the end of the hallway. That the bathroom door and the front door face each other, I think, is odd. In the summer I have to remember to shut the front door before jumping in the shower. More than once I've exited the bathroom in a burst of vanilla steam and freshly exfoliated pink nakedness, only to find that I'm flashing the neighborhood.

To use the sink, you kind of have to stand to the left of it a little. Because the toilet and the sink are right next to each other. You CAN stand in front of the sink, but only if you can fit into the eleven inch gap between it and the toilet. Before you say, "no problem," I should point out that the undersink cabinet doors can't even open all the way.

Then of course there's all these cats.

Please refer to figures one and two below.

Figure One: Tiny Weird Bathroom

Figure Two: Tiny Weird Bathroom with Cats

"They don't follow ME in there," says Hub. "They follow YOU because you coddle them." By "coddle them" he means I turn on the sink for Donovan, and lately, the tub for Casey. I don't think they're really all that thirsty. Like a kid who calls for a glass of water at night, they just take a few sips. It's not about the water. It's about seeing mommy.

Maybe I do coddle them. But they're so cute. Hey, sometimes it's nice to be appreciated just for turning on a faucet.

Still. In the next house, they're getting their own bathroom.