Whoever Heard of The Terrible 24 - 36 Monthses?

(January 09, 2002)

"OH, hold on," says Luke, vanishing into the telephonic limbo that is Call Waiting. But he's back a second later with a scoff. "There should be a WORD, you know, for when you click over and nobody's there. HangWaiting?"

"Waiting Up?"

"Click Up."

English majors. Like that homeless philosopher on the bus told me, water finds its own level.

So. Anyway. The weekend will arrive with its big blocks of unstructured time and I'm going to like, pass out for a whole day. Saturday, 'cuz I got a thing on Sunday. Maybe not. Lately there's just too much FUN going on to miss, so it's sleep that I'm sacrificing. What's up with the curious warp of the space/time continuum, which some scholar should DEFINITELY be checking out, wherein the busier I am the more productive I become? For example, laundry tends to pile up on the floor in our hallway (hampers are for wimps!) until we begin to lose cats in it. But today, there I was at the unrockly hour of 7:30am putting in a dark load. Unheard of. And that's when I realized that the DRUM of Tide I bought is just way too big. We're just two people here, not a prison full of huge sweaty men, do I need this much laundry detergent at one time? Even with the no-spill cap, hefting that behemoth of a bottle and upending it into the little cup is an undertaking. Especially at 7:30 am in my cold basement, in my last pair of clean underwear. If the Olympics have a "Pour corn syrup into a shotglass from a keg" event, I'm their girl.

I also noticed that the Tide bottle says it holds "230 ounces." 230 ounces? Isn't there a point where the standard of weights and measures switches over to like, litres? That's like the moms who measure the age of their toddlers weirdly. "How old's yer kid?" "Oh, he's 28 months." Um, also known as two? I'm sure there's an offical cut-off number for this, but the record holder is the woman who told me, "Molly is 36 months."

What if we all started doing that? "Come to my birthday party! I'm 348 months!" Or recipes. "Add 17 teaspoons of sugar."

Mmmm...maybe I am a little too sleepy to keep going on this entry...I'll stop now, continue after I've had a nap. Hate the early mornings. I've been up for like, 36052 seconds.