Vive Le Bugs Bunny

(May 01, 2000)

I was just in my office (MINE again, all MINE) making some notes about Gargantua Soul, listening to Hub watch cartoons. Two 'toons later and I realize with...well, not so much a SHOCK as a sort of self-satisfied 'I-knew-it-all-along' zen moment...they just don't make cartoons like they used to. I think they can't. By law.

First was a Pepe LePew episode. Maybe you saw this episode-- the one where the Pepe chases the lady cat all over?

Was this skunk the first stalker the TV-watching crowd ever learned about? Because in terms of stalker-training, this little Euroweasel is a virtuoso.

I have to ask something. I wonder now, since I was too little to wonder this during my Booberry Crunch days when I spent Saturday upon Saturday with Pepe and pals, learning through colorfully animated subtext that No means Yes and that french-speaking citizens smell bad, was Warner Brothers acting as the Mike Judge or Parker & Stone of their day? And did any parents write to the papers, or did social studies teachers raise issues about this cartoon? I just have a feeling that the answer is no, but I'm gonna check it out. It's hilarious. I told Hub I'm going to write a mock-letter under an uptight, New Yorker-reading kind of name (Heather LeBlanc, maybe) to the cartoon channel to protest airing of Pepe LePew as offensive to the french. And skunks. And cats. AND women.

"Dear Sirs and Madames,

Are you aware that by the 1994 all states had adopted anti-stalking laws? And in 1996 Clinton signed into law the Interstate Stalking Punishment and Prevention Act, making it a federal offense to stalk across state lines? Did you know that most big cities have a Stalking and Threat Assessment committee, and almost all colleges have an anti-stalking education program for college students? In addition there are myriad web sites, stalking hotlines, counseling services�I shall not go on as I'm sure you get my point.

Some further facts:
---The primary targets of stalkers are women (80%)
---YOUR chances of being stalked are close to 1 in 10
---One in 12 women are stalked at some point in their life
---Each year an estimated 1,006,970 women and 370,992 men are stalked in the U.S
---80% of all restraining orders attained against stalkers are violated

Given these statistics, please explain to me how your consciences allow such irresponsible airing of a horror such as Merrie Melodies. A so-called animated CHILDREN'S cartoon entitled "Beau and Error," aired on your channel on May 1st. A veritiable STALKER'S HANDBOOK..."

...and so on. Well, it needs work. I'll get right on that. Sending a letter like this...that's not fraud, is it?