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You're reading an old entry from Michelle "Lexi Kahn" DiPoala's online diary, formerly called Jungle Sweet Jungle. Blog name changed to Low Budget Superhero in October 2005. Now I mostly go by SuperLowBudge. You can call me Lexi, Michelle or SuperLowBudge, or if you're my mom, then Shelly. Enjoy these old posts (except if you're my mom.) Please follow on Blogger at superlowbudge.blogspot.com. From there you can follow me on Twitter and some other platforms. Thanks!



The Award Goes To...

(April 25, 2000)

So, not having learned from the LAST time every single moviegoer in the free world foisted a movie on us as genius(that would be the Blair Wretch Project and I don't want to talk about it), Hub and I sucked it up and went to see "American Beauty." Poof. Two hours of our lives sucked into the vast nothingness of eternity.

Y'know that "Simpsons" Halloween episode in which Bart's conjoined twin wants to re-join with Bart? Brandishing a big needle and thread, he says, "I've been practicing. Look, I made a pigeon-rat."

Well, "American Beauty" is Sam Mendes' big fat pigeon-rat. And America bought it, including the Academy, which gave it oodles of awards.

With barely a change in story, let alone a fresh perspective or attempt to abandon canned, predictable characters (I swear he wanted Juliette Lewis for the role of Jane, but she's too old now, as is Woody Allen, who'd have made a perfect Lester...oh THAT'S right, he PLAYED Lesters his whole life) this film is what would have happened if Arther Miller had finished "Death of a Salesmen" and immediately written "Ghandi" in the form of a play (use your imagination), and then let a John Hughes, fresh from reading John Irving's "The World According To Garp," write the screenplay and direct. But not before seeing "Pecker" and sewing the three stories together with big white obnoxious string.

As if the already-told-and-retold story wasn't enough to bore me to tears, there's the touted claim that this is YOUR story, America. That everywhere, in every city, Lesters and Janes and Rickies are living and dying and that here, finally, a genius of a moviemaker is just now for the first time saying that it's okay. Life is okay, death is part of life, the thrill isn't the destination but the trip. Well now, that's just obnoxious.

As if THAT weren't enough, there's the shoddy editing job, which left minutes upon minutes of useless scenes, crap that adds nothing to the story, stretching the movie to...oh, who knows, TOO LONG. Anton Chekov once wrote that in order to achieve perfection, a story should make use of all its elements. His example was that if a gun was hanging above the fireplace in the opening scene, it must be fired by the end.

LAST year's big winner was "Life is Beautiful," and THIS year's big winner's only message is that life is beautiful.

Clearly, "American Beauty" is a movie for Baby Boomers who've never read a book, seen a play, or heard a song. I just can't believe that anyone under 40 or over 60 gave this piece of garbage credence.

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