Hard...At Work?

(April 9, 2007)

I just had the weirdest conversation with the maintenance guy in our building. I was about to head into the ladies room (the least-gross one on our floor), over by the freight elevator. Earl was coming out of the freight elevator with an industrial waste bin on wheels.

"Hi Earl, how was your weekend?"

"Not bad, not bad. No sex, though." He wheeled his industrial waste bin to a stop and leaned over it, elbows resting.

Where do you go from there? I had nothing to say and the dude is all settled in ready for a chat. I couldn't decide where to go with it. I opted for empathy. "Oh no," I said. "That's too bad. All weekend? What about your wife?" (Was I really having this conversation?)

"Too tired." Earl's wife runs a cleaning business. I'm sure it's tiring. Plus it's hard to feel sexy when you're dusty and perspiring all day.

"Hm...well..."

"Too busy, too tired," he continued. "My dog had a good time with her dog though. He came over and then..."

He simulated what happened after "and then," playing the part of the dog while the industrial waste bin on wheels played the part of the other dog.

You know, I got to work at 6:30am. It's 10am now. Do I really need Horny Maintenance Guy Theatre today? Plus it's gonna be all I can think of whenever I look at Earl today; that he's horny.

Great.