Unfortch, We All Do It

(August 19, 2008)

OK, maybe it's because I hate all people at this moment (I'm cranky and unhinged, see prior post) but I can't look at one more friggin' comment or post that contains this non-word: CONGRATS.

Are we so lazy of mind and body now? We can't a)think of something original to say or, IF all we can think of is the same message a hundred other people just wrote then at lest b)type the "ulations"?

For many years I've had this friend whose name is Diana, and I have totally and completely understood since the day we met why she hated whenever people called her DIANE. She is right! I agree with her that the end of Diana, the '...eeeyannna' is graceful and lithe and flows from the tongue beautifully. It's wind chimes, or a song. While the end of Diane is a blunt, tinny 'YANN.' DiYANN. It's a wooden spoon beating an oven door. It is NOT a good sound.

Similarly, CONGRATS is not a good sound. It's a nasal "cong" with "rats" at the end. It cuts the air and hangs there. There's no soothing balm of "ulations" to follow, smooth and beautify. Just whip, slash conGRATS!

Without the "ulations," don't even say it to me.

I don't know if it's always bugged me or it's just that there's been so many babies born lately.

Heavy doses of congrats abound.