Movie Spoilers!

(July 22, 2008)

Somebody started a message board thread called "Spoiler Thread." It is my all time favorite thing. Well, of today. Maybe the steak tips I'm making later on will trump it.

Here are some of them. My friends are so clever. My favorite part is seeing how many movies I recognize from the spoiler. Here goes:

Posted: Jul 22 2008

It was a sled.

It was earth all along.

He WAS Kaiser Soze.

He was dead the whole time.

He's actually Luke's father.

They shoot the dog.

She leaves Rick and escapes the Nazis.

It's people!

She's a dude.

His wife's head is in the box

It was really the Nihilist chick's toe.

He survives the zombies and is killed by a redneck.

Meryl Streep lets him keep the kid.

The hairy-footed short dude drops the ring, the finger attached to it, and the creepy guy into the volcano.

The jury finds him not guilty.

His life really was like a box of chocolates.

He gets off the island.

Jude Law shoots him in the back.

He turns back into a kid again.

The chick is Jesus' grandaughter!

The indian smothers him with a pillow and jumps out the window.

He beats the Russian and gives a speech that ends the cold war.

They couldn't take away his FREEEEEEEEDOMMMMMMM!!!!

He did not die in that explosion.

ET goes home.

Finkle is Einhorn.

They removed the headstones but left the bodies.

Although he will never know this due to his short term memory loss, the cop dude is cool and the chick is the one who's fucking him over.

Max is the head vampire.

They were cloned by rich people to use their organs.

He overcomes his water phobia, sails to the edge of the scenery and walks out the door.

She goes to the prom wearing the ugliest dress ever conceived by mankind, and against all logic ends up with the stuck-up asshole instead of the $weet boy who loved her unconditionally.

They accept the fact that they had to sacrifice a whole Saturday in detention for whatever it was they did wrong. But, they think you're crazy to make them write an essay telling you who they think they are. You see them as you want to see them: in the simplest terms, in the most convenient definitions. But, what they found out is that each one of them is: a brain . . .and an athlete . . .and a basket case . . .a princess . . .and a criminal.

WallyWorld's closed.

Lisa leaves Gary and Wyatt, but they have learned that they are cool all by themselves.

They say hello to his little friend, but it's not enough to save him.

It's a trap.

He makes it back to the future.

He gets a new identity from the NYPD, is discharged with honors and relocated, but his wife never shows up.

There are lots and lots of Gin Joints. She walks into his.

Dude causes a small earthquake in failed attempt to kill a gopher, inadvertantly affects the outcome of an illegal golf wager.

Jake gives her panties back and wishes her a happy birthday, and then they kiss over the cake.

Buddy brings his family together, gets his dad off the naughty list and marries the girl from the store.