Masquerade

(October 01, 2006)

So how big are sunglasses going to get again before we're all walking around looking like the cover of Happy Mondays "Live"?

Based on my penchant for keeping, in stupid quantities, accessories from every decade, some in earnest and some just in case a costume party pops up, I have a really dumb number of sunglasses. I have some big sunglasses, some normal and some in crazy Elton John-esque sparkles and colors. Some of them are unrealistic for daywear, but I couldn't resist when I saw them. Thank you, thrift shops.

The ones I'm wearing now are huge. Two years ago I'd have felt like an idiot in these things, but the trend has turned.

I think I knew the trend was turning last summer at a party. I hate parties, I only go to a few, so that must have been Ad Frank's, as it was definitely outside. There I saw one small-boned girl in a halter dress who wore, without a hint of irony, a big huge pair of dark sunglasses. She turned to look at me and all I could see was the tip of a tiny nose, and a compact chin and pouty lips. She was all but hidden under those things.

I've been sporting some big ones lately. I like the feeling -- the lens area is so big that I can't "see" the frame when they're on my face. They go halfway down my damn cheeks! And they're somehow so much more comfy.

What a weird trend. I wonder if it'll hold out 'til next summer. Just in case, I'd better hold on to the little round plastic John Lennon ones and the littler white cat eye ones and the tiny round metal ones that make me feel like The Duckman, and of course, the Risky Business RayBans.