In a twisted Aristotelian breach of the natural order of things...

(April 17, 2005)

So. The WBCN Rock and Roll Rumble 2005.

I came home on Friday night, left before Shred announced the winner because a)Joe was hungry and b)the winner was going to be, clearly and doubtlessly, either Fluttr Effect or Reverend Glasseye and His Wooden Leg. The Hidden played a great set too, but Fluttr has a better stage show and better songs, and Glasseye has just all around better musicians. The only question was how close would it be between Fluttr and Glasseye, and which would squeak out ahead? So, me and Joe left.

Came home.

I sat down and started writing the review. The Rumble is tricky because the Noise deadline was actually last Wednesday, but we hold the final copy until the Rumble is over THIS Friday so we can get the whole story in. So I wrote my review right away.

Oh, the other band? Furvis? Well here's what I wrote:

"Furvis� plain vanilla jangle is a comedown after Reverend Glasseye�s sprawling brilliance and The Hidden�s sonic battering. Harmlessly laid-back vocals meander through instantly forgettable songs peppered with lazy �bop bop bop� and �ah ah ah� back-up vocals. The young bass player wields a beautiful jazz bass but is having problems actually keeping up for the first few songs. They tighten up, but not by much, and it�s clear that the audience finds this a good time to go for a smoke and catch up with friends."

Not Fluttr Effect. Not Reverend Glasseye and His Wooden Leg.

Furvis.

Furvis???

Look. It's not that Furvis is a bad band. Sloppy, yes, but that can work. Young, sure, so they have lots of time to get better...hopefully. Harmless material, might be okay to put on in the background at a barbecue. On any other night, I'd have said, "Oh, yeah, Furvis...well...they weren't offensive but I wasn't blown away."

But this was not "any other night." This was the Rumble. Essentially Furvis' victory in the prelims and semi-finals boils down to ten judges judges saying that FURVIS has better songs, better vocal effectiveness, better timing and better stage presence than every band they've played with in this event.

I'm sorry. No. Not. Vocals? Prissy and weak, back-ups impactless and lazy. Songs? Forgettable and meandering. Timing? Excuse me, did anyone else see the rhythm section practically fighting to keep up? Don't even get me started on stage presence. These guys have the collective personality of a bathmat.

This was so obviously a breach of some sort of reality somewhere that I am sure this isn't the last we're going to hear of this.