The Whale From Pinnochio

(August 29, 2004)

So two Fridays ago, that'd be 8/20, I booked Specimen 37 at TT's. They opened the show early, and the guys in the band did a great job of getting people out. Two of the people that came out were Buzz and Trish, old friends (way before me) of the gang that includes Joe and his sister and MojoNine and the other Specimen guys. Buzz and Trish had kinda dropped off the planet there for awhile, didn't even make it the Whateverth Annual Fourth of July party at MojoNine's. So we all, it seems, had more or less the same basic reaction when we saw them hanging out at the TT's bar:

"No. Way."

"Holy SHIT!"

and of course the ever present all-purpose:

"Duuuuuude!"

So, anyway, Specimen 37 played and the other bands played and MojoNine bought me a drink because he's a darling darling sweetheart and the world would suck ass without him, and I got to talk with Buzz and Trish a little during Labb's set. We talked about "CoupleSpeak."

When you're in a long-term relationship with someone, the two of you develop this...well it's a secret language, really. Like, with Hub I could walk in from getting the mail and say, "It's all bills and every one of them is omelette." and he would know that I'm saying they're all overdue. Anyone else would think the mailman egged us or that I've simply gone around the bend and am confusing financial correspondence with breakfast. My favorite example of CoupleSpeak is our expression of some plan spoiled. Like if one person's action or lack thereof interfered with a formerly expected outcome, Hub or I would say that they "ruined it for the whole log." That one relates to one of those flumes, you know, the...water...log ride...it's...too hard to explain.

So, anyway, Buzz and Trish told me the following story.

"She mis-hears what I say sometimes," says Buzz. "Like this one time we were walking out in the cold and I said, 'You okay over there, babe?' She goes, 'Did you just call me a bitch?' She mis-hears me. So we were at Disneyworld once and you know how you're walking around the park and all the characters are around and everything. I look over and see something, and I turn to tell her, 'Hey, that's the whale from Pinnochio.' She smacks my arm and says, 'Shh! Watch your mouth! There's kids around!' I said, 'WHAT do you think I SAID?'"

Trish thought he'd said, "That's fucked up, yo!" and it was twice as funny to Buzz because she did it with the gangsta-groovey arm movement too.

So now, any time they see something that's fucked up, they say, "That's the whale from Pinnochio."

I don't know if I have any CoupleSpeak with Joe yet...

....hm....no, I can't think of any, unless I count euphemisms for pot and sex.