Out of the Blue, Into the Fray

(September 26, 2002)

Got an email from an old friend. I haven't seen her in..what, maybe three or four years, though I do think of her from time to time. "I wonder how's Brenda," I'll muse, and then consider picking up the phone to find out. I never get up the energy for it though, which isn't like me. How many times have I picked up the phone to just say "Listen to THIS!" and play some song into someone's voicemail? Fear the phone, I do not. If I were to examine the psychology behind why it's been so long since I've been in touch with Brenda, it would likely point to...not fear exactly, but...maybe a passive blend of "I'll get around to it" and needing to be fully prepared for anything.

See, since day one, I have known this girl to be a magnet for tragedy. Honestly, I have never met anyone with so much to deal with, so often. Big stuff. Her world was awash in tragedy when I first met her-- her family and friends still reeling from the death of one of her brothers in a horrible car crash. Later, there was stuff like, one of her brother's wives got cancer. Another brother and his wife had premature twins that nearly didn't make it and were (probably still are) plagued with health problems. The parents' divorce was messy and loud. The ensuing step-parents were nightmares. Her mother once slipped on black ice in a parking lot and lay there for hours with a badly broken leg-- and it wasn't just like, "Oh, these stupid crutches" broken. It was like a year-long thing with pins and infections and draining and whatnot. Once, Brenda found some kind of bump on her arm, which she poked, and it turned out to be a cyst or something that burst and she had to go to the hospital. What the fu....? Whoever even HEARD of that?

So, I got this email. It basically said, "Hi! Just found the Christmas card with your email address! How are you? I have Multiple Sclerosis and Keith has diabetes! I'll call you tomorrow."

Um...wow, then. "Me and Hub aren't going to be living together anymore--but don't worry, it's not BAD, we still like each other-- and I got laid off Thursday-- but don't worry, I volunteered for it..." seem so lame and inconsequential. Hub agreed when I read him the email, saying "Jesus! My life seems so STABLE." That's the thing about Brenda-- she would always make your life seem stable by comparison. But at least we got SOMETHING new to tell her when she calls...

...then today, this email came:

Sorry I haven't called. It has been crazy.. Sandy (beagle) got sick and she was diagnosed with diabetes on Monday. I have had to take her to work with me because she can't be left alone until she stabilizes. We are having trouble with our phone. When you go to make a call you get a dial tone about 1/3 of the time. SNET is supposed to fix it sometime in the next 3 weeks. Oh well. So I'm emailing again....So what are you and Hub doing?