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Diary of a 
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(July 03, 2007) Takin' on the Jellies
With all that's going on in the world right now, I...well fucking hell, I just gotta bitch about stupid shoes again. I'll write about the fucking President later.
For the moment: I HATE STUPID SHOES.
And now, the stupidest shoes in the world may have been bypassed by even stupider shoes.
You regular readers know that it's FLIP-FLOPS that have gotten my goat ('the fuck does that expression mean anyway) and they still do. Get my goat I mean. Even though I didn't do my annual Anti-Flip-Flops rant, figuring you've all heard it here in the diary, I did fume every day in the spring when the flip-flops first came out. So I'll save that rant for anyone who wears those offensive rubber death pads in my presence. (Actually I won't. I'll just fume silently and make fun of their dumb-ass rubber-stinky feet.)
First it was JUST the flip-flops. As though they weren't bad enough, a few seasons ago someone came up with the Chinese slippers in every color that exists (and some new colors that only exist in Chinese slipper). Those make every girl look like she needs a stained bathrobe, a cigarette and a bottle of gin.
As though those mesh & sequin monstrosities weren't enough...JELLIES are back.
Jellies.
And....these...
What ARE those? WHAT? They look like huge freakin' hole-y lima beans. Congratulations flip-flops. You're no longer the worst.
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