Coodles C. Popping Has A Message

(July 11, 2005)

I'm at work. And it's after 8:30pm. I thought when I left Giant Sucking Sound.com THREE years ago (can that be right?) that I'd be done with the whole "stuck at the office" thing. First I was on unemployment, then I almost died, then I freelanced for awhile and then I wanted something more stable than that, but not quite back into the big huge corporate...well, suckfest. "Find a start-up," I said to myself. "Remember when you'd first started at Giant Sucking Sound.com," I said to myself, "and everyone was so eager to be there and everyone knew how to do everything and it was SO cool" I said to myself? God I HATE myself. Myself sucks! WHY do I listen to myself. Myself can go suck an egg.

Eh. I actually really like this place or I wouldn't stay late and come in on weekends and, like, CARE and junk. I'm just cranky because I'm PMS'y and my legs really need shaving, and that always puts me into a sucky mood.

I'm almost done, just a couple more little things and then I can go home.

I need to find the time to do things like file and clean out the email inbox. The spam that comes to my work email address is among the weirdest, strangest spam ever; all because of the recipient names. I'm getting offers for generic penis enhancers and nail fungus treatment from Coodles C. Popping and all his (her?) friends. Is anyone else getting cryptic offers from the likes of:

Electron K. Womankind

Strived I. Lancing

Jews H. Shearer

Chiropractic E. Frantic

Unstuck T. Leeches

Carpentering E. Probationary

Pluralists I. Pulverize

Conveyors R. Crosspiece

Lysol O. Tubbiest

Backyard Q. Undersells

Variance T. Outrage

Overbear B. Blacklist

Growling O. Bullwinkle

I will have to hand it to these spammers; I am unable to immediately click delete on such a name. That old campaign where they did the "HEY, DID YOU GET ME NOTE?" and "MY WIFE SAID YOU'D LIKE THIS" did not work on me. I gave them the merest shrug of approval for the idea behind that trick. But these new ones, this is like some twisted free association. When I get a bunch in one day I walk around trying to get my work done but I'm really thinking up my own. Houseplant V. Penchuckler. Thumbtack S. Rockaway. Sharkbait F. Noodlebouncer.

DEFinitely gotta find time to clean out my email in-box.