I'm Going To Hell, Too

(March 28, 2004)

Anngelle invited me to come plug Old Dogs/New Tricks on her WFNX morning show. It was last Wednesday, the 24th, and the Old Dogs/New Tricks show was at Johnny D's the next night. I of course could not go to the radio show without my new biz partner, Michelle, whose radio show experience and innate sense of appropriateness is pure gold.

I told Anngelle that we'd be bringing one of the talents from the Old Dogs/New Tricks show, and she was stoked about that.

Now, who to bring along? I almost called Kristie, who would be reading from her new novel. I gave some consideration to asking Jen and JJ. But because I have a big show coming up on April 17th at the Lizard Lounge with Larry Banilow as the house band, I went with Larry Banilow's front man, Captain Sensitive.

And that's why I'm going to hell.

Now, it's pretty interesting to note that Captain Sensitive looks an awful lot like Voodoo Screw Machine front man Thermos X. Pimpington. Both of which look suspiciously like my friend Neil, only one is a pussy-assed, meek and stiffly-coiffed Elton-esque blonde (Captain) and the other is lewd, bloodied devil spawn (Pimpington). Funny thing, the three of them are never in the same room together. Also funny, all three of them are going to hell.

I thought that when Michelle and I got to the radio station, Neil would get there and say to the receptionist, "I'm with Lexi and Michelle, they're upstairs already, we're gonna be on the morning show?" That's not what happened. Here's what happened...

Michelle and I are in the green room outside Studio A, waiting for our spot. Jeff Marshall from The Paradise Lounge had brought in a whole bunch of food earlier, so I was nibbling on a quesedilla and chatting about music stuff with Michelle. Suddenly, the receptionist from downstairs comes excitedly into the on-air studio and hurries over to Henry Santoro. There's some kind of hubbub... concern flits from face to face. Voices are strained and high-pitched.

"Wait..." Anngelle says. She turns around to face us, "You guys are expecting someone, right?" Then Julie Kramer (10 -3 DJ) comes flying in...

"There's a weird guy crying in the lobby! We called the cops."

"Is that for you?"

"Uh...yeah."

"You better go get him," Anngelle says to me.

Captain Sensitive, in his trademark snakeskin suit, blonde 'do a mess, had arrived. Crying that a cab driver "punched me in my eye and took all my money and tissues!" He'd arrived at the radio station IN CHARACTER. And they bought it. They really did call the cops.

The spot went great, the FNX guys absolutely loved us. The Captain was freakin' hilarious and has been asked to return.

I can't believe they called the cops.