Whatever it is I think I see...

(August 18, 2003)

1. I can't turn off my kitchen light. One day I flicked the switch and nothing happened. I flicked it again and nothing continued to happen. So I've got perpetual light in the kitchen which, due to lack of motivation for dish washing, should really be in the dark right now. "Broken switch," advises Hub. He knows exactly what to do to fix it, too. I was just planning to wait until the light burned out and then get a lamp. The Gilligan's Island castaways had their professor, I have my Electrical Engineer.

2. Grandstanding. I saw a beat-up old hatchback with a Darwin fish on the bumper. You know the Darwin fish. It's the Jesus fish with feet. And a bumper sticker that said "Vote No On Yes. Vote Yes On No." Now that's just a guy who wants to start a little shit.

3. Revenge of the Nerds. It was on TNT or the Superstation (are those the same thing?) last night. Does anyone not get a little verklempt when Gilbert is making the speech at the end, and gets all emotional after "they trashed our house!" and then Louis takes over and says "No one's really gonna be free until nerd persecution ends!" and then We Are The Champions starts playing? C'mon, that's just good solid movie makin' right there.

4. Spreading it around. Here's one of the best things that happened Saturday night (it was a Low Budget Superhero show at the Lizard Lounge). This really cute blonde in a mini-skirt, I'm assuming a friend of Pat's, was talking to me. She was really fun, brought up something...about something, I don't remember. But then she admired my hair...which was mostly NOT mine, since I was wearing the fake ponytail. I love the fake ponytail. I told her and she marveled and asked where I got it, etc. A few minutes later, Joe says "See that girl?!" he points out the blonde. "She just told me that even though the band is all girls except for me, I have the best hair in the band!" He also said that she said he was "really fine," and I cracked up because who says "fine" who didn't just step out of 1982? I thought "fine" was associated strictly with Members Only jackets and Jordache jeans. While I was laughing about that, Tam comes over and says, "Hey, that girl..." pointing to blonde mini-skirt, "...just told me that I had the best hair in the band!" All together now: Awwwwwww, poor Joe!

4. That's a MAN, baby! Another hilarious thing that happened Saturday night. Everybody knows about The Electrolytes, right? I mean, they're a pretty high profile band. Well, Luke had never seen them before. I came back downstairs from talking to the Lizard Lounge manager and what do I see but Luke, dancing in front of Ivory's microphone, like the goofy white boy that he is...yeah... he's just lucky he's adorable and funny. Later he yells to me, "What's the name of this band?!" Then he says that his buddies, these two guys he's with, are "all about" the two back-up singers. The Asian girls.

"They ARE beautiful," I agree.

"The one on the right..."

"That's Ivory...um...Luke? You know that...those are men, right?" Well, the poor guy looked like I'd just kicked him in the nuts.

"You're lying," is what finally came out when he could speak again...it's Monday now, and I still haven't convinced him.

...seriously though...