You Don't Have To Be A Star, Baby

(January 24, 2003)

"Whaddaya mean West Hollywood?!"

Crap, does EVERYone read Jungle Sweet Jungle? (For those of you lacking fine-tuned attitude detection skills, that's not actual disgust but mock disgust. What I REALLY mean is "Huh huh...people read this 'n junk...huh huh...cool.")

To recap, yesterday I wrote that Gene's Hedwig and the Angry Inch director guy/friend Mike Messer is back in town, and how I thought we'd never see him around these parts again, and in the telling of this, I called him "Hollywood." Last night at Axis, he's all "HEY..." about it, and I was all, "I din't mean it insultingly!" Mostly. Huh. So now I have to explain. Hollywood, that's Mike Messer's Lexi-given name. I don't plan these things-- Lexi-given names pop out at some point and stick. Just ask Captain Fabulous, Don Juanski, Dr. Feelgood, and Daddy Groove. So last October Hub and I met up with Gene outside the theatre, and Gene introduced us to this Mike Messer guy. Right away I saw that he's one of these actor/musician personalities, exactly like my little brother, which is probably why I liked Messer right away. Smiley, friendly, and always trying to look like his headshot. That's out of necessity-- if you're in the business, you HAVE to look the part all the time. You just simply need to look good-- it's like, your job.

If you haven't been close to it, you know not what I know. For example, the extensive mirror time that goes into making one's hair look like you didn't spend any time on it. I call this the "J.B.F." look. (That's Just Been Fucked. Think about it, it's exactly what it looks like.)

And you know how most of us just kinda buy a pair of jeans? Well, guys like Hollywood get them fitted. I mean, I haven't asked Hollywood if he does, but I'm guessing. My brother's Levi's are custom-fitted. Seriously. Levi's. Tailored to hug every toned and flexed inch of real estate.

Huh huh. Toned.

As a matter of fact, Mike Messer's pants are just one of the many reasons you should go to Axis to see Hedwig. You can't miss him, he's the only one in the room that looks like...well, like someone you'd call HOLLYWOOD. Say hi, but don't touch the hair.