Flood to the Last Drop

(January 06, 2003)

"Fuck. Seriously? This is really entertainment for you? Why didn't you come get me?" A pair of huge liquid green eyes stared back at me balefully, then returned with rapt attention to the trail of brown liquid inching its way across my formerly clean kitchen floor. Elvis, completely enthralled by a really messy coffee accident, seemed to think this was one of the new "Ten Best Games" in the cat world. You know, like "Helping Fold Laundry" and "Seeing If The Curtains Will Hold Me" and "Putting Groceries Away." Apparently, when making coffee today, I didn't completely click the filter receptacle into its spot under the dripping water, so its slightly off-kilter position meant that a substance not quite unlike coffee (but really more like warm brown water sloshing with grounds) trickled all over everything.

"I'm getting a dog," I informed Elvis as he watched me sop up the mess. "Lassie would have come running for help, not just hunker there and watch it happen."

Cats. You just know they have a "Stupid Human Tricks" newsletter. I'ma make the front page with this coffee thing.