What the Fuck is Grimace?

(October 07, 2002)

"Someone theorized that he's a stomach," theorized Hub.

"That was ME, I said that," I said. "Yes, I percieve him to be vaguely stomach-shaped. Or some other internal organ."

We'd been watching TV, when suddenly we found our unsuspecting eyes beset by two disturbing icons of pop culture. Donald Trump, and Grimace. Yes, my friends, a McDonald's commercial. That McDonald's needs to advertise at all is astonishing, but "Grimace!" I sputtered, "I haven't seen Grimace in YEARS!" Hub agreed, citing a fact of which I was unaware, namely, "He usually only appears when they're hawking milkshakes."

Did you know this? I did not know this. I rely on Hub for this kind of thing. "A stomach," he mused. "But A) that's gross. And B) how come his name is GRIMACE?"

"Well...um...after you eat at McDonald's, you hold your stomach and grimace?"

Then, because I no longer have to go into work every day and have taken a few weeks totally off to ponder that fabulousity, an internet search for "What Is Grimace?" was unavoidable. You know what I found out? There's a whole entire "What the Fuck Is Grimace" subculture. Websites! Discussion groups! Message boards! Conspiracy theorists and the women who love them! And you know what else I found out? NOBODY knows what Grimace is.

For some, er, excellent theories ("He's a taste bud!" "He's a spleen!") check out the guestbook of this site: Theories on Grimace.

Also funny are these sites:
What is Grimace Supposed to Be?"
A Very Special Tribute to Grimace
Interview with The Grimace