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You're reading an old entry from Michelle "Lexi Kahn" DiPoala's online diary, formerly called Jungle Sweet Jungle. Blog name changed to Low Budget Superhero in October 2005. Now I mostly go by SuperLowBudge. You can call me Lexi, Michelle or SuperLowBudge, or if you're my mom, then Shelly. Enjoy these old posts (except if you're my mom.) Please follow on Blogger at superlowbudge.blogspot.com. From there you can follow me on Twitter and some other platforms. Thanks!



Do I Look Like Harriet Nelson To You?

(April 19, 2002)

Okay, which one of you is the wise guy that signed me up for the Traditional Values Coalition Newsletter? And whaddaya tryin' to say? And kiss my big white ass, Mrs. Cleaver.

This thing arrives in my email every month, and because it starts with "tv" I open it.

I like TV.

It's not that I have any objections to what we like to call "traditional values." I'm aware that my weird ass politics twist the big panties of the average church lady.

It's just the PEOPLE that preach traditional values who get all up in my chi. Under the guise of "traditional values" they try to tell me, and people like me, that we're lesser humans.

Today's Traditional Values report includes, among other things: a report suggesting that almost half of the homosexual population are child molesters, a push to get that new cop show "The Shield" off the air, and a revelation that feminists are wrong and "marriage is the safest place for women and children." The kicker is the plea to get ENDA defeated, citing it as "a pro homosexual bill that endangers businessmen and the free speech of anyone who opposes homosexuality." See that spin? Endangers the free speech of anyone who opposes homosexuality? As opposed to the bill's actual intent, which is to forbid workplace discrimination for sexual orientation reasons.

Maybe it's just my internal rebellious fourteen year old, but when I'm faced with this kind of small-minded bigotry decorated all pretty with words like "moral" and "value" and "free speech," it just makes me want to run even further to the left. I want to get myself a girlfriend and another boyfriend, go topless in summer like men do, and...I dunno, MARCH on something.

So, whichever of you who signed me up for this. It backfired, baby.

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You know what happened? T Max decided we should write up a BMA story for The Noise, so I wrote that instead of continuing it here. When The Noise comes out, I'll post it here, mkay?

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Did you watch "The Job"? Wasn't that cool? In five years when my brother replaces Ethan Hawke in every dumb movie, he'll be able to tell Entertainment Tonight that his first spoken line on TV was "Ello? Dey 'ang up!"

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