Stupid is as Stupid Does, Sir

(April 08, 2002)

So last Friday night at 608 (the club formerly known as Lilli's) I found myself telling embarrassing stories about my stunning Stupidity. Well, mine and Hub's. I wasn't the only Stupid one at the table though; Izzy had just finished telling us everything he'd done all Wednesday night, which included several nice and fun and productive activities suitable for a 20 year old bass player, but completely omitted going to Countess band rehearsal. "I...forgot. FORGOT," he said, clearly still amazed at what failed to go through his brain on the aforementioned rehearsal night.

I got that beat. I do. So does Hub. We've decided that there's something in the water. Maybe something to do with that construction project up by Skybar. Excess minerals in our bathwater or something.

First, there was the chicken. Last Saturday I took some frozen chicken out to defrost. Hub calls from the kitchen, "I'm gonna put this chicken somewhere Casey can't get it, okay? He just jumped up on the kitchen island and I don't trust him. How about the oven. We'll remember it's in the oven, right?" "Duh, of course," I reply and go back to whatever waste of time on the web I was doing. Like, five hours later we were hungry. What are we gonna eat? We asked each other. "Gee, I don't know. I don't feel like shopping." And "Nah, neither do I. Let's just have some salad and some tuna and bread. We can make Jello," or whatever. THE NEXT DAY...yes, I said the next day, "Oh honey, I'll make us some breakfast. How's eggs and toast?" I turned on the broiler...not good.

Then the T-shirt."How many years have I been dressing myself?" asks Hub. I look up from my computer screen and he's standing in the doorway all showered and shaved, neat as a pin, with his T-shirt tucked in. And on backwards. "You could say you're from the Holy Order of Fruit of the Loom," I suggested.

Don't forget the bathroom light thing. You know how, when you're at home and you leave your bathroom, you habitually flick off the light? It's okay because there's not usually someone left in there except, in my case, a cat or two hoping for a game of Water Tennis. Well, I left the bathroom at WORK and flicked the light off. Left some big Billerica-haired biddies peeing in the dark.

The shopping thing. Another weekend, many errands to run and none too soon. We'd been using paper towels as coffee filters for three days because we kept forgetting to buy them, and you don't even want to KNOW about the litter boxes. And I was wearing my glasses because I was out of contact lens solution. Yep, we're headin' to the store. I wanted to cook up some steak and eggs for brunch, do the litter boxes, and put in a good solid afternoon of writing so I could go out to TT's that night. Nope, we don't need a grocery list. We knew what we needed: eggs, litter, margarine, coffee filters, and contact lens solution. From Johnny's Foodmaster Hub and I each hauled two heavy bags of groceries. To the car, then from the car to the house, and we even put them away. Then I set about my chores. Then I learned that we're idiots. We got everything. Except eggs, litter, margarine, coffee filters, and contact lens solution.