What Could Possibly Go Wrong?

(July 11, 2001)

Does wiggling an unbent coat hanger help a TV come in clearer? Because I've been doing it for a half hour now and nothing real meaningful is happening. Judge Judy is either visible or audible, but not at the same time.

If any further proof is required that the American people of the twenty-first century have lost their minds, totally looney the lot of us, it's the Judge Judy show. Where is the sense of personal responsibility? Where's the integrity? What happened to saying, "You know what? It was me, I fucked up. I'll replace your _____ that I damaged in a moment of foolish anger."

Today's case is about a woman, LaTonda or something, who got pulled over by a traffic cop. Her passenger, JaNeequa or something, gets the bright idea of "give him my cousin's information, pretend you're her!" LaTonda does it. The cop gives them a citation and they drive away. Some months later, the cousin, JamaBamaMama or something, gets these "you failed to appear in court" notices in the mail. Not remembering being pulled over at all, she sorta wonders...she subsequently figures out what happened, and somehow gets the $400 from LaTonda to pay the ticket.

LaTonda's complaint is that she wants the $400 back. Her beef is against Cousin JaNeequa, saying that "if she didn't give me her cousin's date of birth, I wouldn't have known it and wouldn't have lied to the cop." Huh?

Stupidity never fails to amaze. Is it just me getting older and more cynical, or are more and more news stories using terms like "tragic accident" to describe sheer Darwinistic justice? Like the teenagers who keep dying after "car-surfing." How is that an accident? "Hey I got an idea, dude. Dude, I'm going to get up on the hood of your car, and you drive. Dude."

Yeah. What could possibly go wrong?