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You're reading an old entry from Michelle "Lexi Kahn" DiPoala's online diary, formerly called Jungle Sweet Jungle. Blog name changed to Low Budget Superhero in October 2005. Now I mostly go by SuperLowBudge. You can call me Lexi, Michelle or SuperLowBudge, or if you're my mom, then Shelly. Enjoy these old posts (except if you're my mom.) Please follow on Blogger at superlowbudge.blogspot.com. From there you can follow me on Twitter and some other platforms. Thanks!



Two of a Kind

(March 21, 2001)

I looked up from what I was doing the other day and noticed that being a couple is like being a two-member cult.

It's easy for a couple to forget that some of the things that make perfect sense in the sanctity of their home are just plain weird to the rest of the world. The horror. This has happened a few times: I say something in public to Hub that, the split-second before the words leave my mouth and before I can call them back, I'm hearing what I sound like to the alien ears of the waiter, the check-out girl, the couple in the next aisle at Johnny's Foodmaster.

(groan)

A few times, among friends, I catch one of us speaking our own weirdass language. I try to recover with dignity. I sort of laugh breezily and say, "OH, that's because when were in high school there was this...girl, and...um....(mumble)" but as I dissolve into a sheepish muttered apology it becomes obvious that dignity is a dream in another life.

Sample Dictionary of Words and Expressions

Monte - pron. the person or persons being addressed when the information being related is very very obvious, or very very surprising and unexpected [ OE: TV show Let's Make A Deal, Monte Hall (also Eddie Murphy in The Golden Child] [ You got another parking ticket, Monte. ]

ruined it for the whole log - v. to do or say something that negatively impacts others in the virtual or literal vicinity, adj. selfish [ OE: Comedian on late-night TV at least five years ago who told a story about Disneyland. While in the "log ride," he flipped the bird to the camera that takes a picture of the riders just as the log begins its plunge into the water. The picture is always displayed on a huge screen for the riders as the log chugs into the station at the end of the ride, and then they can usually buy one to take home. But this time the screen was totally blank. No picture. The other passengers glared and sneered at him, and one guy growled a sentence that would never fit in any other situation, "You ruined it for the WHOLE LOG!"]

omelette - adj. overdue, past the deadline [ OE: TV show Wings. Brian Hackett couldn't read Faye's handwriting.] [ All we got in the mail are bills, and every one of them is omelette. ]

sympathy - n. symphony [ OE: Lexi's mom, who frequently substitutes similar-sounding words for each other] [ Boston Sympathy Orchestra]

(snort) it'll never work... - (said in nasal voice) to express disbelief, to doubt [ OE: Nerdy classmate in one of Hub's undergraduate Engineering courses] [ It'll never work, I wired mine like that and it blew up.]

what's it all for anyway - adj. I don't care anymore, whatever, nothing matters [ OE: TV show The Simpsons, said by Lisa wistfully when she's depressed, possibly over the wasted life and death of musical genius Bleeding Gums Murphy]

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